Assertiveness Skills

Information about Assertiveness Skills

Published on December 25, 2011

Author: imprintcenter

Source: authorstream.com

Content

Assertiveness Skills: Assertiveness Skills Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] What is Assertiveness?: What is Assertiveness? Assertiveness is a set of communication skills, not a personality type ‰ Just like any other behavior, assertive communication can be learned. ‰ To communicate assertively is to communicate your thoughts and feelings honestly and appropriately. ‰ This requires self-awareness and self-confidence - knowing what you want and believing that you deserve it. Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] What is Assertiveness? (Contd): What is Assertiveness? (Contd) ‰ Assertiveness means treating yourself with the same respect that you would usually demonstrate toward others ‰ Without intentionally hurting anyone's feelings. ‰ Direct communication can reduce conflict, build self-confidence, and enhance personal and work relationships Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Four Basic Communication Styles: Four Basic Communication Styles Passive Style Aggressive Style Assertive Style Passive – Aggressive Style Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Passive Style: Passive Style Definition : Violating of your rights by self and others. Failure to express feelings in an honest and direct manner ‰ Purpose : to be liked & accepted by others. Characteristics : low self esteem , submissive , dependent and overly compliant Attitude : I am not OK , everyone else is OK Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Passive Style (Contd): Passive Style ( Contd ) ‰ Interactions with others : Puts self down, easily influenced by others, avoids conflicts Feelings provoked in others : Pity, disrespect, irritation , frustration, anger ‰ Consequences : unmet needs and desires as well as goals Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Aggressive Style: Aggressive Style Definition : honest emotions though inappropriate and in violation of the rights of the others. ‰ Purpose : to dominate or win in every situation. Increase self – esteem but by putting everyone else down. ‰ Characteristics : Rude , obnoxious , domineering and superior. Tends to over-react Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Aggressive Style (Contd): Aggressive Style ( Contd ) Attitude : You are not OK ‰ Interactions with others : Puts others down. ‰ Feelings provoked in others : hurt , anger , ashamed , abused ‰ Consequences : meets goals , alienates others, lack of close relationships. Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Passive-Aggressive Style: Passive-Aggressive Style Definition : expression of needs in an unclear & confusing manner ‰ Purpose : gets what he/she wants without clearly stating what ‰ Characteristic : Appears to be independent and in control of situation ‰ Attitude : You are not OK , but I will let you think you are Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Passive-Aggressive Style (Contd): Passive-Aggressive Style ( Contd ) ‰ Interaction with others : Manipulative, Martyr , pouting ,silent treatment and being helpless ‰ Feelings provoked in others : Confusion, mistrust , of being used. ‰ Consequences : Gets what one wants, though self esteem reinforced and unable to establish close relationship Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Assertive Style: Assertive Style Definition : Direct ,honest expression of thoughts without violating the rights of others. ‰ Purpose : Communicate clearly without dominating, degrading or humiliating others. ‰ Characteristics : Evaluates situation Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Assertive Style (Contd): Assertive Style ( Contd ) ‰ Attitude : I am OK , You are OK. ‰ Interaction with others : Respect to self and others. Willing to be flexible ‰ Feelings provoked in others : Respected , valued. ‰ Consequences : Achieve desired goals, maintains close relationship, gains self esteem Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Characteristics of Assertive Behaviour: Characteristics of Assertive Behaviour Empowerment Dignity and Calmness in interpersonal dealings Proactive Behavior Aware of their rights and responsibilities when they deal with others. Appropriate language and tone They are able to resist the aggressive, manipulative, and passive ploys of other people Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Barriers to Assertive Communication: Barriers to Assertive Communication Inability to discriminate between assertive, aggressive, and nonassertive communication Inability to intellectually and emotionally assert one's personal rights Sending self-defeating personal messages. Lack of skills Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Assertive Skills: Assertive Skills Eye Contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity Body Posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message Gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Assertive Skills (Contd): Assertive Skills ( Contd ) Voice: a level, well modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable, and is not intimidating Timing : use your judgment to maximize receptivity and impact Content: how, where and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Examples of Assertive Speech:: Examples of Assertive Speech: ASSERTIVE I think your language is unacceptable. I am asking you to leave these premises. I do not wish to continue this conversation. AGGRESSIVE You are very rude Get out ! Shut your mouth ! Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Advantages of Assertive Behaviour: Advantages of Assertive Behaviour Your needs, wants and feelings are understood Nobody's feelings are hurt Both parties feel respected and heard The relationship is strengthened by the exchange Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Advantages of Assertive Behaviour (Contd): Advantages of Assertive Behaviour ( Contd ) You experience fewer conflicts and arguments You feel in control of your own life Your confidence and self-esteem are enhanced You have a better chance of getting what you want. Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Relationship between Self-esteem and Assertiveness: Relationship between Self-esteem and Assertiveness Low self-esteem = High self-esteem = Over-inflated sense = Submissiveness lack of confidence & low self-respect (PASSIVE) Assertiveness feeling of self- efficacy (ASSERTIVE ) Dominance, unreal worth or competence (AGGRESSIVE) Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Suggestions for how to be Assertive: Suggestions for how to be Assertive Decide that you want to be assertive rather than aggressive or passive. Think about a recent conflict and imagine how you could have handled it in a more assertive way. Respect the wants, needs and feelings of others, and accept that their viewpoints may be different to yours. Take a problem-solving approach to conflict, and try to see the other person as your collaborator rather than your opposition. Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected] Suggestions for how to be Assertive: Suggestions for how to be Assertive Tell the other person honestly how you feel, without making accusations or trying to make them feel guilty. Use assertive language such as 'I feel' and 'I think', rather than aggressive language such as 'You always' and 'You never' Don't interrupt the other person when they are talking, and try hard to listen and understand their point of view. Suggest that you brainstorm ways to solve the problem together. If the exchange doesn't go well, learn from the experience and plan how you will do things a little differently next time Imprint Training Center 9- Lal Niwas, Sardarpura, Udaipur- 313001 Email: [email protected]

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