Published on January 24, 2008
Learning To Listen: Learning To Listen An Introduction To Communication Learning Module What We’ll Learn: What We’ll Learn Hearing vs. Listening The Three Myths of Listening Barriers To Effective Listening The Four Types Of Listening Improving Your Listening Hearing Vs. Listening: Hearing Vs. Listening Hearing is defined as a biological activity Listening is defined as an intellectual activity Hearing Vs. Listening: Hearing Vs. Listening When we say that listening is an intellectual activity, we’re pointing out that it’s necessary to pay close attention and concentrate to a sender’s message. Hearing requires only that we receive the message using our sense of hearing. By The Numbers……...: By The Numbers……... Many studies have shown that we spend 70% - 80% of our day communicating. Of that time, 45% is spent listening. For most of us, that’s about 7.5 hours per day listening. Three Myths About Listening: Three Myths About Listening We assume hearing and listening are the same thing We assume we can’t be taught to improve our listening We assume we already listen well Barriers To Effective Listening: Barriers To Effective Listening Faking Attention Yielding To Distractions Prejudging the Speaker Prejudging The Topic Faking Attention: Faking Attention If you devote your attention to CONVINCING someone you’re listening, you can’t possibly be focused on actually listening. Yielding To Distractions: Yielding To Distractions External Distractions Internal Distractions External Distractions: External Distractions External distractions are things like: The Environment around you Traffic noises people talking around you A Hottie sitting across from you Internal Distractions: Internal Distractions Internal distractions are those things that keep us focusing on the thoughts in our head versus the message being delivered. A fight you had with your sweetie Problems at home Anxiety over a test in your next class Stressing over your “to-do” list for the day. Prejudging The Speaker: Prejudging The Speaker Too Monotone (Boring) Doesn’t know what he/she is talking about Disorganized Too hard to understand Too quiet Obtrusive accent Talks like a dictionary Prejudging The Topic: Already know the stuff You think the topic is boring You think you don’t need to know about the topic You think it’s too complex to understand Prejudging The Topic The Four Types of Listening: The Four Types of Listening Listening For Enjoyment Listening For Information Listening To Evaluate Listening To Be Empathetic Listening For Enjoyment: Listening For Enjoyment Music A Comedian’s Routine Listening For Information: Listening For Information Information from lectures Information when someone is explaining how to do something When you’re lost, the information your told in getting you where you want to go Listening To Evaluate: Listening To Evaluate A politician’s speech asking for your vote. A sweetie’s explanation about why they stood you up on a date. We use this type of listening when we take in the needed information but also analyze it for value, logic, and usefulness Listening For Empathy: Listening For Empathy Listening For Empathy asks us to listen closely to someone and try to internalize, or relate closely, to what they’re feeling This is the most challenging kind of listening. Improving Our Listening: Improving Our Listening You must want to be a better listener You must avoid yielding to distractions You must take notes whenever possible Stop what you’re doing and listen Improving Our Listening: Improving Our Listening Compensate for a speaker’s flawed delivery Keep an open mind Provide Feedback You Must Want To Be a Better Listener: You Must Want To Be a Better Listener This is pretty much as simple as it reads. If you want to improve yourself as a listener, you must really want to do it and be willing to turn over a new leaf in doing so. It starts with admitting you’re not the best listener you could be………... You Must Avoid Yielding To Distractions: You Must Avoid Yielding To Distractions There’s no way to eliminate distractions so we must learn to handle them better. When you’re distracted, whether externally or internally, re-focus your mind to overcome the distraction and focus again on the topic of the interaction Take Notes Whenever Possible: Take Notes Whenever Possible Taking notes gives you a clear, physical task to do while listening. It not only helps you concentrate more when listening, but your recall of the information presented is much better, too. Stop What You’re Doing and Listen: Stop What You’re Doing and Listen Don’t make the mistake of trying to listen to someone while doing something else at the same time. Listening needs focus and concentration, and you can’t do that if you’re painting your nails or watching a ballgame Compensate For A Speaker’s Flawed Delivery: Compensate For A Speaker’s Flawed Delivery This is a tough thing to do, but it’s generally the case that the listener needs the information from the speaker MORE than the speaker needs to be engaging or interesting. So fighting through a bad delivery is a necessary skill for most folks. The next slide has a few ideas…. Compensate For A Speaker’s Flawed Delivery: Compensate For A Speaker’s Flawed Delivery Focus on words and ideas, not the delivery itself, particularly if it’s boring take exact and detailed notes as it’ll help you concentrate Focus on the “intent” of the delivery, not the “content” No one’s a bad speaker on purpose Keep An Open Mind: Keep An Open Mind When someone is saying something you don’t agree with, don’t get mad Hear them out and evaluate what they say By doing so, you could alter your perceptions for the better or you may strengthen what you already feel Provide Feedback : Provide Feedback Good listeners do a fantastic job of making the sender feel like they’re important! they’ll make a lot of direct eye contact They’ll use a lot of positive listening behaviors, like nodding and encouraging vocalic responses The End!: The End!